CDC
by AlyssaLies28
Summary: Because Yusuke was the crying drunk chick whenever he got some alcohol in him. Kuwabara helps him out, cause that's just what a man does. And Keiko? Well, she let's the boys do what they do.


_Yusuke. Goddamnit, Yusuke. Everytime I write a story you end up popping up and messing with it. In my mind, it doesn't seem right unless Yusuke's in a threesome. He needs the grounding or else he just goes flying off._

"Kuwabara," Yusuke sobbed brokenly. "Kuwabara, I dun know wha ta do."

Kuwabara was utterly shocked at the sight of his best friend. He'd seen the demon drunk before, usually involving tears as well, but this was beyond drunk. This was a whole new level of shitfaced Kuwabara had ever had the privilege of witnessing. And it was painful to watch as Yusuke broke down before him.

Yusuke was in his transformed state, demonic markings littering his body and hair making him look like Cousin It. Tears poured down his cheeks and mingled with the snot leaking from his nose. His head lolled loosely on his spine, bouncing back and forth between his shoulders and the concrete wall behind him. Despair oozed from Yusuke's slumped form on the ground legs splayed out in wonky directions. With what little energy he had left, Yusuke tilted his head to the side before vomit bubbled over his lips and spilled down the breast of his tattered red jacket.

Kuwabara rubbed a big, calloused hand roughly over his face. Dimly he reminded himself he needed a clean shave by the sharp stubble sprouting out his lower face. With a sigh, Kuwabara looked over the mess of a man he called his best friend as he slide sideways into the little puddle of puke next to him.

Yusuke was the oddest drunk he'd ever come across, even more so than Chu. For starters, Kuwabara was standing in the dark, dank alleyway dubbed Hobo Heaven. All up and down the windowless backway the homeless were strewn about in small clusters or off solo. Barrels of fires were scattered here and there; mainly the more noble and clean homeless huddled near the warmth, while those riding on the waves of intoxication like Yusuke sat in the darkness. Despite the nickname of the place, the alley was a nightmare at best, reeking of filth and garbage, and was known to turn up a few shanked individuals on a monthly basis. Sadly, Kuwabara knew this is where Yusuke would have ended up if not for his life-changing death and entering into the realm of the spirit world.

Another quirk of Yusuke's drunken escapades was his wardrobe. Currently he was wearing his old worn out red windbreaker. And nothing else. Seeing as how the jacket only came to the man's hips and his legs were spread wide open, Kuwabara had full viewing purposes of Yusuke's junk. After spending the last eight or so years being best friends and later roommates, Kuwabara was used to seeing all Yusuke had to offer. Yusuke wasn't one for modesty. He went around their shared apartment strutting in the buff more often than he did clothed in any fashion. By the lustful looks the men in the alley were shooting Yusuke's way Kuwabara knew it was time to get the hysterically crying nude outta there.

Yusuke let out a hiccup as Kuwabara bent and easily scooped up the smaller male in his arms. Kuwabara gagged a little when the vomit on Yusuke got onto him, but he gritted his teeth and took a deep breath through his nose to quail his rebelling stomach. Yusuke threw his arms around Kuwabara's thickly corded neck and continued his sob fest with his head buried at the juncture of Kuwabara's collarbone.

"Jesus fuck, Urameshi. What the hell's a matter?" Kuwabara'd meant to pry a bit more sensitively, but all the waterworks was wearing his nerves.

"Kuwabara! You like ma brotha'. Like. _Maaaaa_. Brotha'. You, you know tha righ'?" Yusuke slurred in between the sobs shuttering through his body. Kuwabara swerved into a deserted alley coming up close to their apartment.

"Yeah, man. You an' me are thick like blood. Just like me'n'Shizuru," Kuwabara said in a low, claming voice, rubbing circles the best he could on Yusuke's back. Instead of this treasured piece of information soothing Yusuke like Kuwabara thought it would, tears just fell faster from his eyes.

"Tha's good. I don' got no blood siblings or nuh'ing,"

Kuwabara came up to the door and wrestled the key from him pocket. He had to use the wall and hitch up his knee to keep Yusuke balanced as he unlocked the door and stumbled in. The first thing he did after he kicked shut the door was make a beeline for the bathroom and throw Yusuke into the bottom of the tub. Cranking the cold on full blast, Kuwabara was rewarded with a low moan from Yusuke as he weakly brought an arm up to shield himself from the water pelting him in the face.

Kuwabara rolled up his sleeves and adjusted the water to a warmer temp before turning off the shower head and putting the plug in the drain. He took off Yusuke's jacket from his limp form before it got completely soaked and tossed it into the sink. Kuwabara leaned back against the cabinet sink.

"Keiko!" Yusuke mumbled abruptly, as if jostled from an approaching sleep. Kuwabara waited for Yusuke to continue on his disjointed speak. "She got this thin', you know? 'Bout sex an' stuff."

Kuwabara blushed violently at the mention of Yusuke and Keiko's sex life. It was creepy as hell having to hear it through the walls.

"I need you, Kuwabara. So _baaaad_," Yusuke ended on a moan as he squirmed in the tub. If that comment didn't completely mortify Kuwabara, the next thing outta Yusuke's mouth did. "She got a thin' with incest. And you ma only brotha."

Kuwabara's mouth went slack. 'Holy shit' couldn't even cover what was running through his mind at the request his friend was shooting out. Now he kinda understood why Yusuke'd gotten of plastered. He'd have to be to try a proposition Kuwabara into a threesome like this. Especially the part with the incest thing, though he got how something like that could be attractive to someone who didn't have any siblings.

And now he couldn't stop thinking about Shizuru naked.

"Okay, Urameshi. I think to draw a line here. You, me 'n' Keiko are close and all, but I don't think were fucking close."

The dazed look in Yusuke's eyes cleared a bit as his glared unshakenly at Kuwabara.

"You sayin' Keiko ain't pretty 'nough for ya?"

"No! It's not that, it's—" Kuwabara started before Yusuke cut him off with another accusation.

"So it's me ya won't fuck!" Yusuke seethed.

Kuwabara lunged forward and punched Yusuke up side his mouth. His head smashed back into the titled wall with a thud before he slumped a bit lower in the water.

"Don't you think for a minute I wouldn't fuck you or Keiko," Kuwabara said in a low voice Yusuke could feel reverberating in his bones. Yusuke tried real hard to shake off the fog in his mind the alcohol and the punch'd caused so he could listen to the words Kuwabara was saying. Kuwabara rested his arms on the side of the tub and looked off to the side. "I just don' wanna throw way having my two best friends for a one night stand."

Yusuke snorted at the excuse, to which Kuwabara sent him a glare. "It'd be more'n one night. Try foreva'. And it's gonna be mind blowin'! Orgasmic, you could say."

The blank look on Kuwabara's face told Yusuke he didn't quite get his message across, so he tackled Kuwabara to the ground non to gently. Yusuke got a sense of revenge at the resounding crack of Kuwabara's head colliding with the side of the toilet. Leaning down until his lips touched the orange haired man's ear, Yusuke whispered huskily, "You are gonna come to bed with me 'n' Keiko. And you're gonna stay there."

Kuwabara could only give a shaky nod as Yusuke gave a nip to his ear and moved to suck on the quickening pulse on his neck.

"Now that's all decided, let's head on into the bedroom," Keiko said from her place leaned against the doorframe. Both boys' heads snapped in her direction; Yusuke grinning demonically and Kuwabara taking in the sight of a fully unclothed Keiko before she headed down the hall. It only took a second for Yusuke to jump up and follow after her. The second after that had Kuwabara scrambling up under Yusuke's arm to support his stumbling form.

"Little Meshi's not stirring'much," Yusuke hiccupped trying to swat away his long hair clinging to his face. Red splashed across his cheeks with the sudden reappearance of his drunkenness. "You gonna have'ta go at it for tha both'a us."

"Oh, I think I'm _up_ for that," Kuwabara said with a grin as he lugged Yusuke to the woman waiting for them on the bed.


End file.
